Dragged out of Retirement

A year ago today, my dear, dear old friend Barbara passed away in Australia. She went out to be with her mother ans sisters family who emigrated there from the UK a number of years ago, she had lived the last 15 years mainly in Florida (a long story!)

As "luck" would have it, Barbara had to come back to the UK to await her Australian visa, and it was here that after many tests she was finally diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The "lucky" part of the story was that I and a number of other old friends from years ago all managed to spend a day with her before she left (most of us converging from different parts of the UK at very short notice) a couple of days after this picture was taken. Sadly, her family only had about a month of her company once she got there...........  She is gone, but will never be forgotten !

Barbara is the blonde on the right (with glasses)



Barbara and I were friends for 30 years, and had lots of really great times.............. oh, there are some stories there!! LOL

On Wednesday I went up to Leeds for a few hours to see my very dear friend Barbara.  I had planned to see her soon anyway, when I am going up for the "Mother's Day" weekend. Barbara, Janet, Stephen and I had planned to have a little get-together following the one we had on Boxing Day.

But on Monday morning, with 2 shirts left to iron, I logged onto my email to find a note from her to say that she is leaving the UK this Sunday to fly to Australia to be with her family... she has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, with no cure in sight.  To say it was a shock is rather an understatement, I sat and stared in disbelief.  Then of course I started to think about it and realised I'd put to the back of my mind that when I saw her at Christmas she had lost a lot of weight and had had to stop drinking..... she was waiting for some tests but seemed very upbeat.  She was more mortified not to be able to partake of her beloved "Barcardi & Coke, no ice, no lemon" - A drink she has never changed in 3 decades at least!

After an exchange of emails I told her I was going to get the train to Leeds on Wednesday to see her.  At the same time another friend had called her and was arranging to go on Thursday, but in the end changed to come on Wednesday too.

I met Barbara in 1978.... I had started working part-time in what was considered in those days THE bar in Leeds.... Len's Bar, next door to his famously named Get Stuffed Dining Chambers, and it was great fun.  One evening when I got there I was greeted with the news that there was a new "stunner" starting and was faced with a blonde bombshell in thigh-length leather boots. I think we all begrudged the lime-light she got at first, but very soon who could not fail to fall in love with her bubbly personality and sense of humour, and she very quickly became a big part of our group.......... it was a great social whirl of clubbing and parties, and little sleep! in those days.

We went through various changes workwise and Barbara and I ended up working full-time managerial  positions when Len's new nightclub, Digby's, in addition to the bar and restaurant.   Time went by and I decided to escape Leeds and off I went to Torquay (Devon) where I lived for 3 months... things didn't go quite as expected.... and between Barbara repeatedly telling me to come back, and being offered my old job plus a car..... I returned.  This time Barbara and I got a flat together... and had some great times there !

Eventually we decided to get a pub together and applied for a position with a large brewery who were advertising for Fun Couples for Fun Pubs..... and so we ended up in Newark-on-Trent at Ye Olde White Hart... which is all another story........

We returned later to Leeds...... where eventually Barbara got married (short-lived I'm afraid - but we all warned her!!) and I moved to London sometime after.  Barbara then moved to Newark for sometime.. then went on holiday to the USA and met her second husband... and moved there shortly afterwards.......

So, thirteen years later I got to see her again when Franco and I went to Florida on holiday..... Our lives had gone on very different roads and I was somewhat nervous about meeting up again.. but I need not have worried one bit !!

In the meantime all her family emigrated to Australia..... And sadly marriage no.2 was not going too well for a long time so Barbara left the US for good and went to Australia until her visitors visa ran out last October..... so here she is in the UK staying with our old friend from our Len's Bar days, Janet.  Hence that little reunion at Christmas... Stephen's life has been woven in and out with us since those early 1980's days.

At the beginning of this week I had tried to contact Stephen but knew he was on holiday in Spain, however, as I arrived at Leeds train station on Wednesday my mobile was ringing, it was him, and he managed to get the day off work to come and join us.

So, amazingly, it turned out to be a lovely reunion, a day of laughter, reminiscing and a few glasses of wine.... Barbara, Janet, Sarah from Newark (who I'd not seen for about 25 years), Mandy (ex Newark - again 25 years) from Manchester, Rainnie from the old days (for me 27 years!!) and Mahmood from Len's Bar days too (and who has always kept in touch with Barbara).  We all looked a little older, me more than anyone, but it was like the intervening years had disappeared... and, was just lovely !!

Sadly the time for my return train came too quickly, but not being very good at "good-byes" was probably for the best.

Lots of photos were taken and we are all going to swap them.... and keep in touch!

I feel very privileged to have had Barbara in my life !


Barbara's on the left, smoking like a chimney: she reckons it's too late worrying now!!